WEBVTT 00:04.320 --> 00:07.520 Being worried about running late on a project is completely normal. 00:07.600 --> 00:10.760 Everybody goes through it. We set an estimate, we discuss 00:11.260 --> 00:13.800 with somebody the time something will take, and then it takes longer than that. 00:14.300 --> 00:18.320 This happens all the time. So why do we still feel that 00:18.400 --> 00:22.160 clench in our chest or butterflies in our stomach when it happens? 00:22.480 --> 00:25.780 Because we worry. It's a reflection of us, because we worry about. 00:25.930 --> 00:29.210 About how this shows our performance as an individual. 00:30.490 --> 00:33.690 This is an unproductive mindset to have going into these conversations, 00:34.190 --> 00:37.770 because these are the things that stop us having the conversations in the first place 00:37.930 --> 00:40.810 and stop us giving the right data, the right information, 00:41.130 --> 00:44.370 and making the right decisions from that. So we're going to go through, 00:44.870 --> 00:47.730 in this section, the mindset and preparation to go through when you want to have 00:48.230 --> 00:52.000 that difficult conversation about running late. And then there's a worksheet afterwards where, 00:52.150 --> 00:55.430 where I've condensed that into a single PDF that you can take away. 01:00.870 --> 01:04.430 Why do we have targets on our project? Why do we have deadlines? 01:04.930 --> 01:07.750 Why do we have schedules? Why do we assess the size of tickets in our 01:08.250 --> 01:11.470 systems? None of it is to do with checking up 01:11.970 --> 01:14.950 on you that you're good at your job. It's all to do with coordination. 01:15.030 --> 01:18.430 It's all to do with assessing timelines and estimates 01:18.930 --> 01:22.180 and rechecking the decisions that we've made in the past and seeing if they're still 01:22.680 --> 01:26.140 valid. If you're going into a conversation with a project manager worried 01:26.640 --> 01:29.780 about how this is going to reflect upon you and your performance, 01:30.500 --> 01:33.380 then that's the wrong mindset to have going into that conversation. 01:34.020 --> 01:37.660 The right mindset is to go into it thinking about how this 01:38.160 --> 01:40.620 is going to have an impact on the project and what you can do and 01:41.120 --> 01:43.860 what you already have done to help the impact be as little as possible. 01:44.670 --> 01:47.710 So here are some mindset statements that can help with that. 01:48.590 --> 01:52.150 The problem is small right now, so the conversation won't be 01:52.650 --> 01:56.110 so hard. If I wait to have the conversation, it'll get harder and 01:56.610 --> 02:00.430 harder and harder. It is easier for me to have this conversation 02:00.930 --> 02:03.150 now than to wait until it's a big problem. 02:04.830 --> 02:08.510 Everyone is late sometimes. Everyone hits unexpected 02:09.010 --> 02:12.350 obstacles. This is not a reflection on me and not a reflection on my performance. 02:13.000 --> 02:16.360 If I talk about it now, it'll go a lot 02:16.860 --> 02:20.280 smoother. And if those aren't hitting 02:20.780 --> 02:24.160 the mark, let's focus on, selfishly, from your point of view, why this 02:24.660 --> 02:27.960 will be the best thing. It means you get to work on more interesting problems. 02:28.460 --> 02:31.440 You're probably hitting your head against a big wall trying to solve this problem right 02:31.940 --> 02:35.600 Now. And so it's in your own selfish best interest to stop that from happening 02:36.100 --> 02:39.160 and to work on more interesting, more challenging, more unique problems in the world you're 02:39.660 --> 02:42.600 dealing with right now. And it's also the best thing for your team because you're 02:43.100 --> 02:45.960 probably blocking some other people. And if you get the project manager involved, 02:46.280 --> 02:50.440 then you unblock them. So those are some mindset statements 02:50.940 --> 02:54.000 that can help. There's some questions in the worksheet that I've filled in for you 02:54.500 --> 02:58.040 that you can look at as well, and that should hopefully help prepare the mindset. 02:58.600 --> 03:02.400 Speaking of preparation, let's go through what questions we can ask 03:02.900 --> 03:07.100 and what data we can gather to help a difficult conversation about when 03:07.600 --> 03:08.260 you're running late on a project. 03:12.740 --> 03:16.340 Like all difficult conversations, the preparation comes down to 03:16.840 --> 03:20.260 data, comes down to information. It comes down to gathering what you 03:20.760 --> 03:24.260 need to help inform and educate the person you're having the difficult conversation 03:24.760 --> 03:28.020 with. The good news is that in this particular scenario, when you're 03:28.520 --> 03:31.620 running late on a project, the data is pretty easy to get hold of. 03:32.340 --> 03:35.500 You know the task you're working on, you know how long you've spent on it, 03:36.000 --> 03:39.300 you know how far along you are through that task to a 03:39.800 --> 03:42.820 certain extent. So you can come presenting this pretty, pretty easily. 03:43.380 --> 03:46.420 The more difficult part of this is when we're trying to project into the future, 03:46.660 --> 03:49.780 because ultimately, that's why we're in this situation in the first place. 03:49.940 --> 03:53.380 We tried to project into the future and failed. We got it wrong. 03:54.180 --> 03:57.220 So here we've got to think about potential futures, 03:57.440 --> 04:00.800 we've got to think about possibilities, we've got to think about what the risks 04:01.300 --> 04:04.720 are associated with that. So separating it into the 04:05.220 --> 04:08.360 past and the future. Here are some questions to ask yourself and get the 04:08.860 --> 04:12.720 answers to before you go into this difficult conversation. What were 04:13.220 --> 04:16.320 the blockers? Why were you delayed? Get it out on front. 04:16.480 --> 04:19.480 Get it out right there. Because there's no point in hiding this. 04:19.980 --> 04:22.960 Everybody will know. And so if you present the information yourself, 04:23.040 --> 04:26.760 you've got control over the narrative. Somebody else presents the same information, 04:27.160 --> 04:30.920 you can't control that narrative. So give it yourself. Give the information 04:31.420 --> 04:35.360 yourself. So, next question. What do you know now that 04:35.860 --> 04:39.680 you didn't know before you started the work? So this is the education journey 04:40.180 --> 04:42.760 you've been on. What have you learned about this particular task? 04:42.920 --> 04:47.000 Why did we estimate it at two days, and now it's seeming 04:47.500 --> 04:52.050 like it'll be a week? What new information did we gather then? 04:52.210 --> 04:55.090 The next question is obviously going to be how long it's going to take to 04:55.590 --> 04:58.890 finish the work. This can be a challenge. Don't worry 04:59.390 --> 05:02.690 about saying I don't know to that question. Spend the time thinking about it, 05:03.190 --> 05:06.810 spend the time planning. Spend as much as you can really trying 05:07.310 --> 05:09.850 to work through it. But if at the end of that, the answer is I 05:10.350 --> 05:13.410 don't know, it's better that you say that than you make 05:13.910 --> 05:17.650 something up. Remember, what we're trying to do with all of these difficult conversations is 05:18.150 --> 05:20.840 to build trust, is to, is to get people to understand that we're speaking the 05:21.340 --> 05:24.480 truth, to understand that when we give them information, it's something that we believe 05:24.560 --> 05:28.360 to be true. And so we can't fail that by 05:28.860 --> 05:32.520 making something up at this point. So say I don't know. If you 05:33.020 --> 05:36.920 don't know, if you are saying I don't know, then think 05:37.420 --> 05:40.840 about the experiments, think about the questions you can ask or the information you 05:41.340 --> 05:44.280 can gather that might help you with that. Why don't you know? What are the 05:44.780 --> 05:46.400 unknowns? What are the unknown unknowns? 05:48.340 --> 05:51.260 Ultimately, what we're trying to get to with these, what the project manager is going 05:51.760 --> 05:55.100 to want to know is what the risks are to the timeline. And so they're 05:55.600 --> 05:58.300 going to want you to do these experiments, they're going to want you to gather 05:58.800 --> 06:02.220 this information. So you're making their jobs easier by doing all this work before 06:02.720 --> 06:05.740 you have the conversation with them. That's the whole point of preparation. We want this 06:06.240 --> 06:09.780 difficult conversation to go as smooth as possible. So I've got those questions down 06:10.280 --> 06:13.340 in the worksheet for you and in the section down below. Spend the time thinking 06:13.840 --> 06:15.980 about them and have a review of the worksheet. 06:19.580 --> 06:23.180 Here we've got the worksheet for when we're running late on a project. 06:23.420 --> 06:26.740 And I filled it in for you with some examples. This is a scenario where 06:27.240 --> 06:29.740 we're running late on a, on a, on a ticket from a ticketing system. 06:30.240 --> 06:33.620 It's been estimated that two days and it's been four days already. And we've been 06:34.120 --> 06:37.220 struggling because we're not getting the support from the senior that was assigned to work 06:37.720 --> 06:40.880 alongside us. So that's, that's the scenario. And so that's pretty much what I filled 06:41.380 --> 06:44.720 in in the what section. The what section is as neutrally as 06:45.220 --> 06:49.160 you can describing the situation. So I'm running late. The ticket said it's 06:49.660 --> 06:51.680 two days and it's been four days already. I don't know how long it will 06:52.180 --> 06:54.440 take. And part of the reason why I'm here is because I'm not getting the 06:54.940 --> 06:58.320 Support I need from my senior, pretty neutral description of 06:58.820 --> 07:03.000 the situation. So who should be involved in this discussion? Definitely yourself, 07:03.320 --> 07:06.760 definitely the project manager and probably the senior themselves. 07:08.080 --> 07:11.240 When you're starting out getting a handle of difficult conversations, you might 07:11.740 --> 07:15.040 want to skip the senior, but I suggest you try it. I suggest you get 07:15.120 --> 07:18.160 people in the room that can make the decisions there and then, and the senior 07:18.660 --> 07:21.440 is part of the people who can make the decision and so I do recommend 07:21.940 --> 07:25.600 they're part of it. But I recognize that can be a challenging first step and 07:26.100 --> 07:29.240 so I appreciate if that's not the first step you want to make. So when 07:29.740 --> 07:32.640 should we have this discussion? As soon as possible. We've got to let people know. 07:32.920 --> 07:36.680 Maybe the daily stand up, maybe the weekly stand down. Both of those are appropriate, 07:37.180 --> 07:39.920 depending upon the urgency of the item, depending upon where you are in the week, 07:40.420 --> 07:43.800 but this should just be as soon as possible. Where should we have this discussion? 07:44.040 --> 07:47.240 Stand ups are meant to be quick, so we can mention it in a stand 07:47.740 --> 07:51.120 up, but we probably shouldn't go into the detail there. And because it also involves 07:51.620 --> 07:54.800 the relationship between me and the senior on the project, it should 07:55.300 --> 07:58.720 be somewhat private as well because I'm effectively saying that I need more support and, 07:58.870 --> 08:01.670 and the senior could respond in a negative way to that. 08:02.170 --> 08:05.310 We hope they don't based on the preparation we do, but we need to make 08:05.810 --> 08:09.590 sure that we are preparing for that possibility. So maybe a one to one 08:10.090 --> 08:11.990 call between the three of us or a private meeting room. 08:13.350 --> 08:17.310 Okay, so that's the difficult conversation. Let's talk about the mindset 08:17.810 --> 08:21.190 to go into it with. So why is it in my best interest 08:21.350 --> 08:24.950 to talk to the project manager about this ticket that I've not finished? 08:25.300 --> 08:29.340 Well, first and foremost, I finished this ticket. I've been bashing my head against the 08:29.840 --> 08:32.740 wall for this on two days and I get to finish it and I get 08:33.240 --> 08:36.740 to work on something new. So I should have that conversation. Also, 08:37.240 --> 08:40.340 I look proactive, I look good in the eyes of the project managers. They don't 08:40.840 --> 08:42.700 have to chase me, they don't have to ask me all the time how things 08:43.200 --> 08:46.820 are going, I'm proactive. And they know that in the future I will 08:47.320 --> 08:50.660 raise things without them having to prod me about it. 08:51.950 --> 08:55.550 Also, you know, if I've not necessarily been honest in daily 08:56.050 --> 08:59.150 standups, that can weigh heavily on you. And so, you know, you can stop having 08:59.650 --> 09:03.510 this difficult, uncomfortable feeling every day that I'm not necessarily 09:04.010 --> 09:08.110 giving the whole truth during standup. The consequence 09:08.610 --> 09:11.630 of going through this is that I can build Trust with the project manager, 09:12.130 --> 09:14.870 and I get more interesting things to work on other than this thing that has 09:15.370 --> 09:18.880 been a thorn in my side. And ultimately, by talking about this, 09:19.380 --> 09:21.320 the more people that know about the problem, the more people can help me. 09:22.440 --> 09:25.800 So why is it in the interests of the project manager for 09:26.300 --> 09:28.840 me to have this conversation? You know, I feel like I might feel like I'm 09:29.340 --> 09:32.560 burdening them with this conversation. So what? So that's not the case. But why is 09:33.060 --> 09:36.120 that not the case? Well, right now, the project manager is making assumptions about the 09:36.620 --> 09:40.280 project that are incorrect, and they're making decisions based on those assumptions, 09:40.360 --> 09:43.700 and those decisions might end up being the wrong decisions. And. And so by 09:44.200 --> 09:48.060 giving them this information, they can start making the right decisions. They would rather know 09:48.560 --> 09:52.420 now and have more time to resolve the situation than 09:52.920 --> 09:56.180 know later and have less time to solve it. So it's in their interest that 09:56.680 --> 10:00.180 they know about this as quickly as possible. Why is it in the 10:00.680 --> 10:02.860 best interest of the people I'm working with for me to tell them about it? 10:03.360 --> 10:06.660 Well, there could be other blockers that the team is waiting on me for. 10:07.160 --> 10:09.500 If this ticket is part of the critical path, if it's something that is, 10:10.010 --> 10:12.810 you know, blocking the rest of the team, it's important that I talk about this 10:13.310 --> 10:16.530 to unblock the team. But also it can 10:17.030 --> 10:20.610 build trust in the team. If I am open and 10:21.110 --> 10:23.130 I talk about the fact that I'm struggling and that this is a ticket which 10:23.630 --> 10:26.770 I'm having difficulty with, then I'm helping build an environment that the 10:27.270 --> 10:30.170 team around me can say the same thing. And that's an environment I want to 10:30.670 --> 10:32.810 work in. I want to work in a situation where the people around me can 10:33.310 --> 10:36.210 be open about the things they're struggling with. And so by building trust and by 10:36.710 --> 10:40.150 doing that, I'm creating an environment for them that is an effective environment 10:40.650 --> 10:43.750 and environment for me now, 10:44.230 --> 10:47.590 trying to hit the negative side of things. What will happen if I don't 10:48.090 --> 10:51.830 have this? Well, pretty easy. The ticket won't get done in any particularly 10:52.330 --> 10:54.950 quick amount of time. I need help with this problem no matter what. If I 10:55.450 --> 10:58.350 bring it up today or next week, I'm going to need help. And ultimately people 10:58.850 --> 11:01.630 will find out whether I tell them or not. And if I'm not the one 11:02.130 --> 11:05.410 that tells them, then I can't control the message behind that. If one of my 11:05.910 --> 11:09.090 peers tells the project manager or, you know, if the project manager works it 11:09.590 --> 11:12.770 out by themselves, I'm not controlling the message. I'm not controlling the narrative behind it. 11:13.270 --> 11:16.370 And I might worry that people will assume the worst. People will assume that I'm 11:16.870 --> 11:19.690 lazy. If I control the message, if I'm proactive with this information, 11:20.010 --> 11:23.530 then I can make it clear that I'm not lazy. I'm just stuck. I'm just 11:24.030 --> 11:27.770 having a problem. And being stuck and having a problem doesn't breach 11:28.270 --> 11:31.730 the trust of the people around you. Being lazy could. And so by controlling 11:32.230 --> 11:35.530 that message, it means that you get to ultimately keep, 11:35.610 --> 11:39.810 gain or even, you know, build the trust of the people around you. And ultimately 11:40.310 --> 11:43.730 this is all leading towards a, you know, if you don't tell people, you're creating 11:44.230 --> 11:47.170 a culture where you hide mistakes. And I don't want to work in that kind 11:47.670 --> 11:50.090 of culture. So I need to have this difficult conversation so that I don't have 11:50.590 --> 11:54.250 to work in that kind of culture. So preparation 11:54.330 --> 11:57.410 is pretty easy for this particular difficult conversation. 11:57.910 --> 11:59.870 It's all to do with the data. It's all to do with the information, 12:00.510 --> 12:04.150 which in this case is about timelines. So laying out exactly what happened. 12:04.650 --> 12:06.750 The ticket said it was going to take two days. It's been four days. 12:07.250 --> 12:10.790 I'm not going to finish anytime soon. I've requested for help just putting that narrative 12:11.290 --> 12:13.909 down, trying to find the answer. Wasn't able to find the answer. Went out of 12:14.409 --> 12:17.630 ideas. Also in this scenario, I've heard that 12:18.130 --> 12:20.830 maybe somebody in another team is having a similar issue and maybe they could help 12:21.330 --> 12:23.680 me with it. If my senior is too busy, maybe this person from the the 12:24.180 --> 12:27.720 team could help him. So this is all observations and data again, 12:28.220 --> 12:31.520 as neutrally, as objectively as possible. This is data. This is 12:32.020 --> 12:35.800 not interpretations of data, this is data. So have 12:36.300 --> 12:39.520 I got any outside opinions as to what's going on in this particular scenario? 12:40.080 --> 12:43.520 You know, part of the reason for the difficulties is my dynamic 12:44.020 --> 12:46.920 with my senior. So I gathered a couple of pieces of evidence, both of which 12:47.420 --> 12:49.520 were pointing in opposite direction. So this doesn't give me anything to go by. 12:50.020 --> 12:53.380 And so I just need to, you know, forget it at this point. This is 12:53.880 --> 12:56.220 not something I want to bring up because I don't have outside opinions that are 12:56.720 --> 12:59.580 strongly one way or the other. So I would move on at this point. 13:00.300 --> 13:03.500 So some of the objections that might be raised is I didn't try hard enough. 13:03.740 --> 13:06.700 I don't think my PM will say that based on what I know about them. 13:07.100 --> 13:10.180 But if they do say that, then I can point out all the research, 13:10.680 --> 13:14.180 I can point out all the answers I found. Sorry, all the potential answers I 13:14.680 --> 13:18.260 found that didn't lead anywhere. So I've got the evidence for that. The PM might 13:18.760 --> 13:22.460 say something like, I should have said this sooner. They're right, I should have. 13:23.020 --> 13:26.180 There's no way to overcome that objection other than just apologizing 13:26.680 --> 13:29.420 and saying, yes, I'm sorry, I should have. I will make sure I do that 13:29.920 --> 13:33.139 in the future. So in terms 13:33.639 --> 13:37.140 of how this can go awry, the only real situation here, 13:37.640 --> 13:39.980 you know the PM is going to help me. The PM is motivated and incentivized 13:40.480 --> 13:42.660 to help me with this project. So it's very unlikely this is going to go 13:43.160 --> 13:45.860 awry. The only way this can go awry is if the PM doesn't help me. 13:46.020 --> 13:49.500 Very, very rare situation. If that does happen, then obviously I need 13:50.000 --> 13:51.620 to escalate. But I don't think that's going to happen. 13:53.460 --> 13:56.700 Okay, so this is the Difficult Conversations worksheet for when you're running late on 13:57.200 --> 14:00.660 a project. There's the blank one earlier on in the course for your particular 14:01.160 --> 14:02.820 scenario, but here's an example of how it's filled in.