Burnout in engineering teams is rarely caused by a single event. Instead, it’s the result of persistent, often overlooked management habits that quietly erode motivation, well-being, and performance. Here are 9 habits, why they matter, what happens if you ignore them, and actionable tips to build a healthier, more sustainable engineering culture. 

When leaders equate constant activity with productivity, they create a culture where being busy is seen as being valuable. This habit pressures engineers to fill their days with meetings and visible tasks, leaving little room for deep, impactful work.


Busyness doesn’t equal value. Engineers need uninterrupted time for deep problem-solving. Without it, they deliver shallow solutions and accumulate technical debt.


Productivity drops, code quality suffers, and your best engineers become disengaged or leave for environments that value real impact over appearances.


Reduce your meeting load and protect time for focused work. Read more in 

Micromanagement signals a lack of trust and creates bottlenecks. When managers insist on approving every decision, engineers lose autonomy and motivation.


Autonomy is a core driver of engineering motivation. Without it, engineers stop taking initiative and innovation stalls.


You become a bottleneck, progress slows, and your best engineers look for more empowering workplaces.


Delegate routine decisions and establish clear frameworks. For more, see our 

When managers blur work-life boundaries-by sending after-hours messages or expecting instant replies-they normalize overwork and erode well-being.


Healthy boundaries are essential for sustainable performance. Without them, chronic stress sets in and creativity plummets.


Burnout rises, absenteeism increases, and top talent leaves for healthier environments.


Model healthy boundaries and encourage your team to disconnect after hours. More tips in 

7 Tips for Engineering Managers Who Also Have to Write Code

Relying on your best engineers to handle the toughest problems and review all code may seem efficient, but it breeds resentment and exhaustion.


Top performers are not limitless. Overloading them leads to burnout and turnover, taking institutional knowledge with them.


Your best engineers burn out or quit, leaving the team scrambling and morale low.


Distribute workload fairly and rotate responsibilities. Recognize and reward contributions openly.

5. Neglecting Strategic Thinking and Team Development

Managers stuck in firefighting mode lose sight of long-term vision and growth. This creates a stagnant environment where engineers don’t see opportunities to learn or advance.


Engineers thrive when they see a path for growth and feel part of a purposeful mission.


Your team stagnates, innovation slows, and top talent leaves for growth opportunities elsewhere.


Block time for strategic planning and mentoring. Explore 

6. The On-Call Illusion: When Availability Becomes Addiction

Modern incident response often normalizes perpetual vigilance. Week-long on-call rotations create constant anticipatory stress-even if no incidents occur. This leads to a false sense that faster response times always mean better reliability, and heroics in post-mortems are rewarded over prevention.


Even without alerts, engineers lose up to 40% productivity during on-call weeks due to constant mental load

. This “always-on” culture quietly drains your best people.


Chronic stress, higher turnover, and a culture that values firefighting over prevention.


Adopt split-shift models and humane scheduling. Pair daytime deep work with evening incident windows to triple sustainable response capacity and halve mean-time-to-repair (MTTR)

7. Meeting Vampirism: The Stealth Tax on Cognitive Capital

Fragmented meetings disguised as collaboration drain cognitive resources. The average team loses 23 hours weekly to unnecessary meetings, prioritizing presence over contribution and reinforcing outdated planning mindsets


Constant interruptions destroy flow states and deep work, leading to cognitive overload and emotional exhaustion.


Burnout, reduced productivity, and artificial deadlines that undermine real progress.


Replace most status meetings with asynchronous video updates and AI-generated summaries. High-performing teams that do this see 47% faster decision cycles and improved code quality

8. Promotion Paradox: Rewarding Crisis Over Consistency

Many organizations conflate firefighting with leadership potential, promoting engineers based on crisis performance rather than sustainable impact. This leads to strategic exhaustion and high turnover among newly promoted leaders


Rewarding only crisis response discourages preventive work and sends the wrong signal about what the organization truly values.


Engineers promoted during crunch periods are 68% more likely to leave within 18 months, while consistent contributors are overlooked, leading to a fragile leadership pipeline


Redesign promotion criteria to value preventive architecture and long-term impact equally with incident response. See our guide: 

Many organizations focus on short-term fixes, but resilient teams require structural reforms that prevent burnout and support sustainable growth.


Without systemic change, even the best-intentioned managers can’t prevent burnout. Teams remain vulnerable to attrition, knowledge drain, and stagnation.


You’ll face a cycle of quiet quitting, high turnover, and loss of critical expertise-issues that no wellness stipend or quick fix can solve.


Implement incident response overhauls with circadian-aligned scheduling, conduct regular meeting audits to eliminate unnecessary coordination, and redesign promotion pipelines to reward preventive contributions.

9 Management Habits Quietly Burning Out Your Best Engineers

Recently I've been speaking to a lot of new leaders, and a mistake I am seeing quite often is equating productivity with the number of tasks they complete, meetings they attend, and decisions they make. Many new leaders, particularly those transitioning from individual contributor roles, fall into the trap of trying to do everything themselves. This approach stems from good intentions—wanting to demonstrate value, support the team, and ensure nothing falls through the cracks. However, this "more is better" mindset often leads to diminished leadership effectiveness, team underperformance, and personal burnout. Stepping into a leadership role within the tech industry means facing responsibilities that go beyond technical oversight, requiring an entirely different skill set that includes knowing when to step back.

This article challenges the conventional wisdom that effective leadership means constant action and involvement. Instead, I'll argue that strategically doing less—focusing on fewer, higher-impact activities while intentionally stepping back from others—can dramatically improve your leadership effectiveness. By examining six key areas where less activity leads to better results, I'll provide actionable insights for both new and experienced leaders looking to maximize their impact while avoiding being caught in what one might call a "task tornado".

As a leader, particularly one newly promoted from a technical role, you might believe that your value comes from constant activity. You feel compelled to attend every meeting, weigh in on every decision, and remain accessible to your team around the clock. Your calendar becomes a badge of honor—the fuller it is, the more important and productive you feel. You might worry that any unscheduled time signals a lack of commitment or importance to the organization, falling into the trap of feeling productive while doing easy pieces of work that aren't truly important.

Constant busyness is often counterproductive to effective leadership. Research consistently shows that leaders who strategically protect their time and maintain open space in their schedules make better decisions, provide more thoughtful guidance to their teams, and ultimately deliver better results. When every minute is scheduled, you operate in a reactive mode, jumping from task to task without the mental space to process information deeply or think strategically about long-term challenges and opportunities.

By intentionally reducing your meeting load by 20-30%, you create the necessary space for deep thinking, careful reflection on team dynamics, and proactive planning. This unscheduled time isn't empty—it's filled with the essential cognitive work that distinguishes great leaders from merely busy ones. It allows you to step back and see patterns, connections, and strategic opportunities that remain invisible when you're constantly in the weeds, helping you channel your time into tasks that genuinely push your work forward.

See more in productivity tips by reading 

5 Productivity Tips for New Engineering Managers

Many new leaders believe they should be involved in every decision, large and small. You might think that being consulted on all matters demonstrates your value and ensures nothing goes wrong. This approach seems logical—after all, as a leader, you're accountable for outcomes, so shouldn't you have input on everything that might affect those outcomes? This misconception aligns with the belief that leadership means having all the answers, a common fallacy among new tech leaders.

The quality of your decisions deteriorates sharply as their quantity increases. Decision fatigue is a well-documented psychological phenomenon—each decision you make throughout the day depletes your mental energy and decreases the quality of subsequent decisions. By inserting yourself into every minor decision, you not only exhaust your decision-making capacity but also dilute your focus on the truly consequential decisions that only you can make.

Effective leaders carefully guard their decision-making bandwidth by establishing clear thresholds for when their input is required. They create decision-making frameworks that empower team members to resolve routine matters independently while escalating only those decisions that truly warrant leadership attention. This approach improves both the quality of significant decisions and the speed of routine ones, while simultaneously developing your team's decision-making muscles and recognizing that leadership decisions are not a solo activity.

3. Delegation as a Strength, Not a Weakness

You might believe that delegation means shirking responsibility or burdening your team with your work. Particularly if you've been promoted due to your technical excellence, you might feel that nobody can perform certain tasks as well as you can. Some leaders fear that delegating challenging work might be perceived as laziness or disengagement, or they worry their team will resent being given additional responsibilities. This misconception is often rooted in the false belief that leadership is control.

Strategic delegation is one of the most powerful tools for both team development and leadership effectiveness. When you thoughtfully delegate work that challenges your team members and aligns with their development goals, you create growth opportunities that benefit both the individuals and the organization. Far from being a burden, meaningful delegation signals trust and confidence in your team's capabilities.

By delegating work that others can do (even if they might initially do it less efficiently than you), you free yourself to focus on the work that only you can do as a leader—setting vision, removing obstacles, managing stakeholder relationships, and developing your people. Moreover, delegation creates redundancy and resilience in your team, reducing key person dependencies and enabling the organization to scale. Effective delegation recognizes that a command-and-control leadership style stifles creativity, curtails innovation, and undermines a sense of ownership among team members.

In the daily rush of operational demands, you might believe that strategic thinking is a luxury you can't afford. You convince yourself that you'll get to those big-picture questions once the current project is complete or during that mythical "quiet period" that never seems to arrive. Many leaders unconsciously prioritize urgent tasks over important ones, focusing on putting out fires rather than preventing them. This approach leaves you feeling productive while actually neglecting the crucial work of strategic leadership.

Strategic thinking isn't a separate activity that happens outside your regular work—it's an essential component of effective leadership that requires dedicated time and mental space. By intentionally reducing your involvement in routine operations and creating protected time for reflection and big-picture thinking, you develop the foresight to identify emerging opportunities and challenges before they become urgent.

Leaders who carve out regular time for strategic thinking—whether through weekly reflection blocks, monthly strategy sessions, or quarterly retreats—consistently outperform those who remain perpetually trapped in tactical execution. This protected time allows you to step back from immediate concerns, connect disparate pieces of information, and envision alternative futures that might otherwise remain unexplored. Prioritizing tasks effectively means recognizing that not all work is equally valuable and having the discipline to focus on high-leverage activities.

Many leaders, especially those early in their leadership journey, believe that sacrificing personal wellbeing for work is necessary and even admirable. You might think that working longer hours than your team, skipping breaks, and being available around the clock demonstrates commitment and sets a good example. This mindset often stems from a belief that leadership requires superhuman effort and endurance, similar to the misconception that everyone on your team should like you.

Sustainable leadership requires sustainable practices. Research consistently shows that leader burnout not only harms the individual but cascades throughout the organization, affecting team morale, decision quality, and overall performance. By intentionally doing less—setting boundaries around your work hours, declining low-value commitments, and prioritizing recovery—you maintain the energy and perspective needed for long-term leadership effectiveness.

Leaders who model sustainable work practices by taking breaks, using vacation time, and disconnecting during off-hours typically lead teams with higher engagement, better retention, and superior results compared to those led by perpetually exhausted leaders. By doing less in terms of hours worked, you actually accomplish more in terms of sustained impact over time. This approach recognizes that avoiding multitasking and setting clear goals are essential productivity practices for leaders who want to create sustainable environments for both themselves and their teams.

7 tips for Engineering Managers who also have to write code now

You might believe that leading by example means demonstrating superhuman productivity—being the first to arrive and the last to leave, responding to emails at all hours, and visibly taking on the heaviest workload. This approach seems virtuous and may even receive short-term praise from senior leaders who value visible hustle and sacrifice. This misconception relates to the belief that authority automatically equals respect.

The behaviors you model as a leader are powerful signals that shape your team's culture and norms. When you consistently overwork, interrupt your personal time for non-emergencies, or pride yourself on multitasking during meetings, you implicitly establish these as expected behaviors for your team. This creates a culture where sustainable performance takes a backseat to performative busyness.

Effective leaders deliberately model the behaviors they want to see in their teams. By visibly prioritizing your most important work, declining low-value commitments, taking breaks to recharge, and respecting boundaries between work and personal time, you create permission for your team to do the same. This leads to a more sustainable, healthy team culture where people focus on impact rather than activity. Recognizing that feedback is not a one-way street, these leaders also create space for their teams to provide input on workload and priorities, further reinforcing a culture of sustainable high performance.

The paradox of leadership is that doing less often allows you to accomplish more. By strategically reducing low-value activities, empowering your team through delegation, protecting time for strategic thinking, and modeling sustainable work practices, you create the conditions for both personal leadership effectiveness and team success. This approach runs counter to the "always-on, always-busy" ethos that pervades many tech organizations, but the evidence consistently shows that leaders who have the courage to do less achieve more meaningful, sustainable results.

The shift from constant activity to strategic selectivity isn't easy. It requires overcoming deeply ingrained beliefs about productivity and value, as well as the confidence to withstand potential short-term criticism from those who equate busyness with commitment. However, for leaders willing to make this shift, the rewards are substantial—better decisions, more empowered teams, increased strategic clarity, and the personal sustainability needed for long-term leadership impact.

Effective leadership isn't about flexing your technical muscles anymore but about steering your team smoothly towards scoring goals while keeping everyone motivated and creating positive vibes for everyone, including yourself. By embracing the practice of strategically doing less, you transform from a solo rockstar to the maestro of a band, with your eyes on the prize of team success rather than personal productivity metrics.

As you reflect on your own leadership approach, consider: Where might doing less allow you and your team to achieve more?

Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz explore how managing energy, not just time, is the key to sustained high performance for individuals and organizations.

Will Larson (Author of "Staff Engineer: Leadership beyond the management track") discusses how to handle your own energy as a leader.

At Amazon, they discuss this concept by encouraging teams to recognize "two-way doors" - decisions that are reversible versus those that are not, helping leaders focus their energy on decisions that truly matter.

Climbing the Mountain of Leadership Productivity

A guide with practical steps to help you plan how to be productive and effective in your first 90 days of leadership, focusing on quality over quantity.

A framework for technical leaders and managers to consistently make great decisions quickly, recognizing that our job is to make the right decision most of the time rather than attempting to control every aspect of team operations.

Recently I've been speaking to a lot of new leaders, and a mistake I am seeing quite often is equating productivity with the number of tasks they complete, meetings they attend, and decisions they make. Many new leaders, particularly those transitioning from individual contributor roles, fall into the trap of trying to do everything themselves. This approach stems from good intentions—wanting to demonstrate value, support the team, and ensure nothing falls through the cracks. However, this "more is better" mindset often leads to diminished leadership effectiveness, team underperformance, and personal burnout.

Why doing less makes you a better leader

In recent months, a concerning trend has begun to manifest across the engineering industry, as described by 

Companies are increasingly choosing to compress the role of Engineering Manager into a primarily technical function - focussed more on writing code than building and supporting their team.

This decision, often driven by short-term financial considerations, fails to appreciate the broader value that Engineering Managers bring to an organisation. They are not mere technical resources but the glue of the team, which fosters innovation, nurtures talent and aligns technical goals with business objectives.

To be clear, I don’t endorse this reductionist approach. Leading takes a lot of time - putting out fires, preparing and leading meetings, creating and managing roadmaps, overseeing recruitment/onboarding, supporting your peers, handling conflict, and communicating with other disciplines/stakeholders.

However, some of my readers are finding themselves in a situation now where they are having to do it all - leading and supporting their team, and fulfilling the short-term technical objectives.

I hope the practical tips in this post will help you to navigate this challenging situation if you find yourself unexpectedly back “on the tools.”

It’s taxing to have to lead and code at the same time. You can spend all day working hard, doing your best, all whilst feeling like you’re just trying to stay afloat.

Taking care of yourself is not a sign of weakness or indulgence; your own well-being and internal narrative are essential to yourself, and your team. See all of this as “putting your own mask on first” so you can help and support your team.

Acknowledge that you’re in a tough phase of your career. Set clear, achievable tasks and have a think about the number of tasks that you can realistically complete.

Even having a list of 5 things to do every day may seem unrealistic when you need a buffer to deal with things that need your attention all of a sudden.

Recognise that perfection is not the goal and also don’t forget to celebrate progress, no matter how small it is. It can be easy to get caught up in the day-to-day tasks and forget that we are achieving small successes every day. Setting time aside at the end of each day/week/sprint to reflect on your, and your team’s, successes can help with this.

Don’t tackle all the problems you have alone - reach out to peers, mentors, or professional networks, where you might find other tech folks who are in a similar position as you. Perhaps reach out and see if you could connect and have a 1-1 chat with them.

 have regular online discussions, in-person and remote events, and even group coaching sessions that can provide guidance and help, a different perspective, insights and encouragement.

Focus on your health - physical and mental

Your body is a biological machine and if you don’t keep it running smoothly then your brain won’t function at peak performance. Investing in regular exercise, proper nutrition, frequent breaks, and adequate sleep can make a huge difference in how you tackle your challenges. These are not “lifestyle choices” but essential factors that influence your performance and decision-making.

Take your lunch break, eat it away on your own if you need to just have some time to yourself. Go for a break and get away from your computer. It’s funny how many times I’ve gone for a walk with a problem and then immediately thought of a solution when I got back to my desk.

Additionally, consider mindfulness practices, hobbies, or activities that relax and rejuvenate you. Manage stress through techniques like meditation or deep breathing exercises. If you’re cycling down into stressful thoughts then you can’t keep a clear mind to handle them.

Lastly, establish clear boundaries between work and personal life. Spend quality time with family and friends, and allow yourself breaks to recharge. Try to not think about work once you’ve finished for the day. Don’t let all of those questions and challenges creep into your thoughts

These tips might seem like indulgences, but they are not. If you don’t focus on your own physical and mental health you aren’t going to be in the right place to help your team.

Focus your time on the most impactful work

As you transition into a more hands-on technical role, the challenge lies not only in adapting to new responsibilities but also in discerning what elements of leadership must be retained and what can be adjusted or delegated.

Here are some things to not drop, and some things you can consider delegating.

Breakdown in communication causes inefficiencies that will eat up your time and your team’s time. Continue to facilitate open communication within your team and with other stakeholders (teams, departments, disciplines).

If you have regular 1-1’s perhaps you could reduce the frequency of them so you’re still connecting with your team. This also helps ensure you are not constantly moving the 1-1s if your workload gets too much; skipped 1-1s are a sign to your team that you are prioritising things other than them!

Keep an eye open for places where communication might be lacking and break from your tech work to make sure it happens. Ensure that collaboration is encouraged and that team members feel supported when they are talking to other teams.

Development and mentoring have a disproportionate return on your invested time. If you do something for somebody then it only gets it done once, teach someone else to do it and they can do it every time afterwards.

The first time you teach them, it will take longer than if you had done the task yourself, but this is an investment in your time. In the future, it will take less and less time and eventually, they can teach others in your stead.

Maintain your role in nurturing and developing team members, providing regular feedback, and fostering growth.

Building the thing “in the right way” (technical architecture and skill) always needs to come second to building “the right thing” (vision, strategy and alignment).

Continuing to ensure that all technical efforts align with the team’s overall vision and strategic goals is how you build “the right thing”.

Any time you spend ensuring that you are focussing your, and your team’s, efforts in the right direction is essential work!

Things a Leader Might Consider Adjusting or Delegating:

Direct Involvement in All Technical Tasks

If you are using your technical expertise in the work you do, make sure it is in the most impactful place. If you can, focus on your existing technical competencies rather than trying to reskill/retrain and, where it is not, delegate to others.

Additionally, over-involvement in technical tasks may stifle the growth of team members by not allowing them to take ownership and responsibility. By empowering team members with autonomy over specific tasks and providing guidance and support when needed, you can foster a culture of growth and accountability.

Moreover, immersing oneself in every technical detail can lead to a loss of focus on the strategic direction and broader organisational objectives. It's essential to maintain a balance by aligning technical involvement with strategic goals, keeping an eye on the big picture, and ensuring that the technical efforts align with the company's overall vision.

Reduce or delegate attendance at meetings that don't require your direct input, focusing only on those essential for strategic decisions. These may include routine status updates, brainstorming sessions for some upcoming projects, or meetings where your presence is customary/ceremonial rather than critical.

Do you really need to attend that meeting with accounting about the new payroll process? Or, can you watch the playback at 2x speed? Can you ask a senior team member to attend that meeting with Product Management about the new feature they want?

Delegating attendance at these meetings to competent team members can free up your time to focus on areas where your expertise is most needed.

This doesn't mean completely disconnecting from these discussions; instead, it's about recognising which meetings require your direct involvement and which can be handled by others. Brief summaries or reports from those who attend in your place can keep you informed without requiring your physical presence.

This approach requires trust in your team and clear communication about what constitutes a non-essential meeting. By cultivating a culture where team members feel empowered to represent leadership in these contexts, you not only free up your time but also provide opportunities for others to grow in responsibility and confidence

Recruitment and onboarding are essential components of building and maintaining a strong team. However, as an Engineering Manager taking on additional technical responsibilities, you may find it practical to delegate or collaborate with others on these tasks.

Hiring the right talent requires time and attention to detail. While your insights and final decisions are crucial, initial stages such as screening resumes, conducting preliminary interviews, and coordinating with recruitment agencies might be delegated to HR/P&C or senior team members. Collaborating with HR/P&C ensures that they understand the technical requirements and cultural fit, allowing them to handle the early stages of recruitment efficiently. This is an investment in your time that will take longer in the beginning than if you just did it all yourself, but it will pay off in the long run.

Bringing new team members up to speed is another critical process that ensures they feel supported and can add value as quickly as possible. While it's essential for a leader to set the tone and expectations, the detailed orientation process can be shared with senior team members. They can handle the introduction to software codebase, product features, ways of working, tools, and processes. Your involvement can then focus on aligning the new member with the team's vision, goals, and culture, ensuring a personal connection without having to oversee every aspect of the onboarding process.

Make the most of your “Leadership time” by focusing on your personal productivity

First, let’s acknowledge that the idea of completing everything on your to-do list is a myth.

These factors make it difficult to have a clear and easy-to-follow to-do list. It’s essential to take ownership of your time and productivity, focusing on what’s most impactful.

Structure your week into Technical & Leadership Time

Structure your day/week to allocate specific blocks for “Technical Time” and “Leadership Time”. This clear division helps in maintaining a balance, ensuring that neither role overshadows the other.

Additionally, when you consider how to use your leadership time, utilise a framework for prioritisation and delegation, such as the Eisenhower Matrix.

The Eisenhower Matrix, named after President Dwight D. Eisenhower, is a time management tool. This matrix has two axes – importance and urgency – and it brings clarity in differentiating between what is urgent and what is truly important.

 Tasks that must be executed immediately to gain the value they have in completing them, but we are making no judgement on what that value is. They merely have time criticality.

 Tasks that have high value and contribute to long-term objectives and goals. They have an impact.

These tasks have high time criticality and high impact. These are tasks that you need to complete yourself due to their immediate necessity and significance. Due to their urgent nature, they typically need to be handled straight away and cannot wait for “Leadership Time”.

These tasks have long-term implications and high impact, like planning the next sprint, building relationships with your team members and peers, researching new practices, etc. These should be the focus of your “Leadership time”. You may choose to delegate these, but regular check-ins and reviews are needed to ensure delivery.

Tasks that make you feel busy, but could be done by someone else. They are things such as assisting a team member with a task they could complete themselves, administrative tasks, attending less-critical meetings, etc. These kinds of tasks should be delegated whenever possible.

These include activities like aimless scrolling on social media, unrelated work seminars, etc. They can be eliminated from your schedule.

Remember that time management is as much about what you don’t do as it is about what you do. Delegation isn’t just about passing tasks due to an overwhelming workload. It’s a strategic decision that encourages team members to take ownership, fostering a sense of accountability for the team’s outcomes. It also offers opportunities for team members to grow and develop their skills.

If you’re in this unenviable situation remember that the essence of what leadership is remains and, even in the face of change, it's your ability to adapt that will define your continued success.

Your success hinges on more than just your technical prowess. Balancing your leadership responsibilities, maintaining your strategic outlook, nurturing the team dynamics, and taking care of your personal well-being are all crucial components.

This transition will be fraught with challenges, but the guidance provided in this article aims to equip you with the tools and insights needed to survive. Embrace it and you'll not only succeed in your technical tasks but also continue to inspire and lead your team towards greater achievements, together.

In recent months, a concerning trend has begun to manifest across the engineering industry. Companies are increasingly choosing to compress the role of Engineering Manager into a primarily technical function - focussed more on writing code than building and supporting their team.

In the realm of leadership, forging a shared vision and influencing people is not just about top-down direction; it’s about collaboration and mutual respect. It’s about recognising the unique perspectives and skills that each team member brings and harnessing them towards a common goal.

Have you ever wondered what influence is? In my view, influence is when you use communication to help someone change their behavior and make decisions that are mutually beneficial to both parties. It is not manipulation, which is when someone tries to get someone else to do something that is only beneficial to themselves.

Leaders often need to get their teams to produce outcomes. As a leader, you can’t produce the same amount of effort as a team can. That’s why it’s important to use influence to help your team reach the desired outcome. Doing so will help ensure that everyone is on the same page and working towards the same goal.

Effective leadership requires aligning desires and common goals. If there is no common goal, it is very difficult to influence someone. As a leader, it’s important to understand why something is in the best interests of others and show them why it is beneficial for them. This is the core of influence - if what you're trying to persuade someone to do directly conflicts with their interests then you are likely going to fail. Unless you can work out how to show them it's in their interests.

What happens if we aren’t influential enough

Are you a leader who has been struggling to get your team to stay aligned and reach their goals? If so, you may not have been influential enough. When our influence as a leader is lacking, the effectiveness of our outcomes and our team's outcomes significantly decreases.

Having a team who are all heading towards one common goal is essential to reaching our desired outcomes. To do this, we need to use our influence skills to get everyone on the same page and ensure all members of the team understand the goals and the methodologies used to reach them.

It is important to remember that, while it is critical to have differing opinions and encourage creativity to solve the problems presented to a team, once a decision has been made, it is essential that the team sticks to it. If there is a lack of commitment to the decision, this can lead to misalignment in goals and methodologies, halting progress and hindering success.

To develop your influence and help your team stay aligned, try developing your conflict resolution skills and focus on getting your team to ‘disagree but commit’. This will help you get your team on the same page and reach the desired outcomes.

Have you ever had a situation where you gave someone the data, told them what to do, or sent them a spreadsheet, PowerPoint, or delivered a presentation, and yet they still don’t seem to be doing what you want? If so, you know how frustrating this can be. This is a great example of influence failing to land with them.

That’s why I’ve developed the Influence Doorways Model to help you break down why your influence is failing. This model helps identify why the message isn’t getting across, whether it’s a misunderstanding of data, a strong emotional reaction, or something else.

Each situation is unique, so it’s important to recognize which doorway is closed. This model can help you identify that and take steps to open the doorway and get your message across.

The model is based on the idea that the brain processes data in a cyclical way. When you receive information, your brain processes it in a specific order to fully understand it and react.

First, your brain takes in data from your eyes, ears, and other senses. A lot of this data is filtered away. However, when you add context to the data, it becomes information. This information then elicits an emotional reaction. After that, your logical brain takes over and you can process the information, think about it, and act on it. Lastly, your actions create outcomes, which feed back in as data.

It’s important to understand where in this process we’re failing when it comes to influencing someone. Often, we give people data (Step 1) and the skills to process it (Step 4) and then get frustrated when they don’t do what we expect them to.

By understanding the “Influence Doorways” model, you’ll be able to recognize when you’re failing in any of the areas and know what to do about it.

Data is a fundamental part of our day-to-day work activities. However, it is easy to forget to double-check that we have provided the right data to the right people. We sometimes make assumptions that the data has been seen or accessed when it hasn’t.

It is important to take a step back and check that every person you need to has the data they need to do what needs to be done. This could include sharing spreadsheets, adding people to email chains, or ensuring everyone is in the relevant Slack channel, etc.

With remote and hybrid working becoming more and more popular, it is even more important to double-check that everyone has seen the data you have sent. Just because the data was sent, doesn’t mean it has been seen!

Data is an easy thing to forget, so make sure that everyone has access to and has seen the data they need to do their job.

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between data and information?

Data is simply numbers and figures without any context or meaning. It is the raw material from which information is created. Information, on the other hand, provides the context and meaning behind the data. It is about understanding the data in the context of the person receiving it, not just in terms of what the data means to the sender.

Also, consider how the data aligns with the goals of the receiver. By understanding the difference between data and information, we can better influence and communicate with others.

We all experience emotions, which are instinctive reactions to things around us. They evolved before our logic processing capabilities, making them a natural part of our evolution.

As soon as we are presented with information, an emotional reaction comes before any logical processing. It is important to consider the positive and negative emotions that this information will evoke.

By understanding this, we can better understand our reactions and how we process information.

Logic is an important part of influencing others and determining their skill competency.

Remember that just because someone has a skill doesn’t mean they are proficient enough in that skill to do the task you are asking them to do. Understanding how someone processes information and how to best present your data is key for successful influencing.

Utilizing logic and understanding the skillsets of the person you are trying to influence is essential for successful persuasion.

Outcomes are an important part of understanding the results of our actions.

Building a feedback loop that connects actions with outcomes is essential for us to make sure we are achieving the desired results. This could be a feedback loop between ourselves, or between ourselves and someone (or something) else.

One example of this is promotions, where our desired behaviors need to be observed in order for us to be promoted. Just doing the behavior isn't enough.

Make sure the feedback loop is virtuous and our outcomes are successful.

Knowing which Influence Doorway is closed can be the key to getting the desired results from your team. To help with this, let’s look at the five influence doorways: data, information, emotions, logic and outcomes.

Data is typically not the problem, as we are usually quite good at providing it. However, it is important to make sure that the data is seen, accessible and not lost in the mix of other data. Check all of that! If they are confused about what's going on then it's likely data in the culprit.

Information is often where influence fails, as we forget to give context to the data or misunderstand how someone will interpret it. Do they not seem to be getting the emotions you expect from the situation? If so, then it's likely you aren't contextualising the data enough!

Emotions are key, as the positive or negative emotions elicited by the information will give the motivation to take action. Are they fully understanding the situation and just have unproducitive emotions?

Logic is easy to spot when it is the problem – if someone is producing poor work 

 is frustrated by it, this is likely the Influence Doorway that is closed.

Finally, outcomes. If someone is making the same mistakes over and over again and their progress is slow, this could be the issue. Are they seeing the result that their actions are causing?

By understanding the Influence Doorways and their sequence, you can identify which one is the issue and take steps to open it.

Data is the first doorway to open. If you know the data doorway is closed, you simply need to provide this data. Make sure the data that you provide also talks about the current situation, the outcome that you want from this and the steps between the two.

The second is Information. Consider the internal narrative of the person you are influencing. How would they interpret the data? How can you adjust that? How can you phrase the situation so that you evoke the emotions you want from the information?

The third doorway to open is the emotional one. This is not about manipulation, but influence. Focusing on why this is important and how it impacts 

 and the people around them. This is why it’s important to have good relationships with everyone to understand their goals and align the information with those goals. Additionally, it is important to understand what their fears are and how to downplay those fears. Spending the time to understand someone is the heart of good, healthy, influence.

The third doorway is logic. This is about teaching, training, coaching, and putting people in conferences and getting them to listen to podcasts. This is not one we need to think about too hard as we do it well in our industry.

The last influence doorway to open is outcomes. Ask yourself if they can see the results of their actions and if not, what can be done to highlight that to them. How can you provide virtuous cycles for them?

Alright, wrapping up, influence in leadership isn't about bossing people around. It's about getting everyone on the same page and working towards a common goal.

The Influence Doorways Model we talked about is like a cheat sheet for you to figure out where things might be going off the rails. It highlights the importance of clear data, understanding what it means, logical thinking, and seeing the results of our actions. Each 'doorway' is a checkpoint to ensure everything's running smoothly. Especially with more of us working from home or in hybrid setups, getting a hang of this influence game using this model can help leaders keep their teams on track, motivated, and working together effectively, all with a bit of a friendly nudge rather than a stern shove.

influence in leadership isn’t about bossing people around. It’s about getting everyone on the same page and working towards a common goal.

From Code to Conversations: A New Engineering Managers' Guide to Influencing Non-Tech Individuals

Stepping into a leadership role in the tech industry can be as exciting as cracking a complex algorithm. Yet, with this transition comes the responsibility of managing a team and being responsible for outputs, productivity and, more importantly, their personal and professional growth. At the heart of all of this lies the art of conducting one-on-one meetings. The effectiveness of these personal interactions cannot be overemphasised as they provide the scaffolding for building strong relationships, unearthing concerns, and fostering growth.

Before diving into the ‘how’, it's crucial to understand the ‘why’ behind one-on-one meetings.

Understanding the core purposes of one-on-one meetings can significantly enhance the quality and impact of them. Below are the fundamental objectives you should aim to achieve through your one-on-one interactions:

One-on-ones serve as a catalyst the establishing a strong rapport with your team members and starting the long process of gaining trust. These interactions, hopefully, provide a non-threatening platform where employees can freely express their concerns, share ideas, and discuss personal or professional growth ambitions.

Imagine you have a team member named Sarah who is passionate about UX design. During your one-on-one, you discover that she’s been self-learning some advanced UX techniques. By showing genuine interest in Sarah's learning journey and appreciating her initiative, you are fostering a bond of trust and encouraging her to continue honing her skills.

Make it a point to learn and remember personal details about each team member, such as their hobbies or educational pursuits. This information can be used to create a more personalised and engaging discussion during your one-on-ones.

2. Identifying Concerns and Opportunities

One-on-ones are the ideal setting to unearth any hidden concerns, challenges, or opportunities. The private nature of these meetings encourages team members to open up about issues that they may not feel comfortable discussing in a group setting.

Resources

Blog posts

9 Management Habits Quietly Burning Out Your Best Engineers

Other blogs

Why doing less makes you a better leader

From Code to Conversations: A New Engineering Managers' Guide to Influencing Non-Tech Individuals

How to conduct one-on-ones that actually Matter

5 Productivity Tips for New Engineering Managers

Livestreams

Tech Lead Fundamentals - Defining Your Role and Responsibilities

Leading OKR for Teams

Micromanagement detox

Should I work in an Agency or a Product Company?

Conferences & events

From Engineer to Leader: A Workshop for First-Time Tech Leaders - Wellington 2025

Tech Leadership: Difficult Conversations, Feedback and Conflict - Auckland 2025

From Engineer to Leader: A Workshop for First-Time Tech Leaders (2 day workshop) - NDC Oslo 2025

Building a Culture of Healthy Conflict in Tech Teams - NDC Melbourne 2025

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